


Can't Hold Her

by Violet_Rose_Of_Darkness



Category: The Office (US)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Divorce, F/M, Family Dynamics, Family Issues, Heavy Angst, I haven't decided yet, Romance, probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:49:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28742022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violet_Rose_Of_Darkness/pseuds/Violet_Rose_Of_Darkness
Summary: An AU where Pam accepts the job at Simon Realty and it changes everything. Two years later, she unexpectedly files for divorce, leaving Jim to piece together where, exactly, things went wrong and maybe even save their marriage. But the truth hurts and there's a lot he doesn't know about his wife.
Relationships: Cecelia Halpert & Jim Halpert, Pam Beesly & Cecelia Halpert, Pam Beesly & Jim Halpert, Pam Beesly & Philip Halpert, Pam Beesly/Jim Halpert, Philip Halpert & Jim Halpert
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	Can't Hold Her

**Author's Note:**

> I binged the Office for a month before it went off Netflix and I have some strong feelings about season nine. This is me just exploring an idea that popped into my mind a few days ago. And before shit starts getting flung in the reviews, please know that I do NOT think Pam and Jim would ever get a divorce. They worked through their issues because they're a happy, healthy relationship. This is just something I wanted to play with (that's what she said). Also, as a warning, chapters will more than likely be shorter than what I usually write. I feel like it fits the narrative more.
> 
> Now, please enjoy.

Jim had been ecstatic when the difficulties in their marriage had seemingly vanished overnight.

He had been convinced that Pam finally understood where he was coming from. He was trying to do the best for their family after all, of course she knew that. There may have been a rough adjustment period, but other than that they were fine. The transition from Scranton to Philadelphia couldn't have gone smoother. The kids hadn't been too bothered and Pam had started her job at Simon Realty without a hitch.

So where had it all gone wrong?

Jim buried fingers into his hair as he absently stared at the document laying atop his desk. Though the image was slightly blurred due to his impending tears, he knew exactly what it was. He had been mulling over this for a few days now. A small stack of papers stating- in no uncertain terms- that Pamela Morgan Halpert wished to divorce him.

It felt as though the world had turned on its head. Pam, his Pam, wanted a divorce. As in, she didn't want to be with him anymore. She didn't want to wake up next to him or make breakfast for the kids with him or stay up and watch movies late at night when the kids were sleeping with him. She wanted to get away from him.

But why?

Well, Jim should have known why. Pam had gently explained things to him for the better part of an hour a week ago. He had tried his best to listen, but once the word 'divorce' had hit his ears, everything had been static.

Divorce was such an ugly word. Divorce had been what he associated her parents with; two older, unhappy people who didn't feel anything for one another anymore, perhaps they never did. Never, in their five years of marriage, had he ever thought of the two of them that way. Because they were Jim and Pam, soulmates. They were meant for one another, everyone had said so: their parents, her sister, his sister, and- hell- even his douchebag brothers.

Goddammit, he still loved her; he had never, ever stopped. She must have known that that.

So the question was, when had she stopped loving him?

That was probably where Jim was struggling the most. Whenever that had happened, the signs had completely gone over his head. He couldn't pinpoint Pam being unhappy with him at any point between their move to Philly and the present. She had given him bright smiles and had molded into their new life, just as he knew she would.

Or rather, thought she would.

Was that what this was about? Was she still upset about what had happened two years ago? He had thought they were passed that, that she knew that this was best for their family. So why was she-?

"Jim."

He blinked, looking up at reception to meet Isaac's eyes. There was pity in his gaze, something he had been receiving since word had gotten out. How that had happened, he wasn't sure. And honestly, he didn't give a shit. He didn't want their pity or sympathy. He didn't care what anyone else thought he just wanted his wife back, dammit!

"Yeah?" replied Jim, a bit testily. His emotional state had been a violent, sporadic rollercoaster and seemed to teeter between anger and sorrow.

"Pam's on the line for you," the receptionist told him.

He nodded, and his telephone began to ring. His fist clenched and unclenched a few times before he finally picked up his phone. "Hello?" Usually, Pam calling him at work never failed to put a smile on his face. Now, however, he had this tight, anxious feeling in his chest. As if she was going to give him more bad news.

Though, what could be worse than telling him she wanted to end things between them?

"Hi, Jim," answered Pam kindly. There had been a time not too long ago when Pam's sweet, gentle voice could cheer him up when he was feeling down. But not this time. No, now the ache in his chest throbbed when she spoke. God, how the hell could she sound so... normal? Nearly chipper, even? As if their life together wasn't being yanked out from under them.

No, not them. Under him. Because she was the one pulling it.

"Hey," he responded hoarsely, because what else could he say? How could she do this to them? What had he done wrong? How could he make her stay? He had done plenty of that this past week and none of it had elicited an answer. At least, not an answer he was satisfied with. "What... Uh, what's up?"

Pam was quiet for a moment. "I met with my consultant today," she told him. "We have to decide on a date. Did you sign the papers yet?"

Jim's jaw clenched at the mention of the offending documents. Truthfully, he wanted to rip the damn things to shreds until there was nothing left, as though that would tear away whatever made Pam want to leave him. "Not yet," he answered. "I, uh, have a lot of work to get through."

"That's fine," she said understandingly. "I would appreciate it if you found some time today, but don't worry too much about it." And that was absolute the worst part of all this. Pam had been nothing but patient with his refusals and emotional outbursts. When he lashed out with his words- intentionally attempting to pick a fight with her, to find out what the hell was happening to them- she would respond with gentle sympathies and- for fuck's sake- compassion.

Who was compassionate during a damn divorce?

"Yeah, of course," he replied morosely. "I'll try." Truthfully, he had no intention of ever signing his name on the godforsaken things. He would much rather watch them burn to ashes over an open fire.

Of course, that wouldn't make the problem go away. Jim had done a ton of research, hoping to stop this catastrophe, only to find out that if he didn't sign within thirty days, this whole thing would automatically end in divorce. And that was it, no chance of ever changing things.

"I picked Phil up from daycare early and I'm on my way to get Cece," Pam informed him, unknowingly (or maybe conscious of exactly what she was doing) twisting the proverbial knife lodged in his chest at the mention of their children. God, was she even thinking about them? He didn't want them to grow up in a broken family, how could she? They deserved to have both their parents.

She was being so damn selfish.

"I wanted to spend some time with them," she continued. Why? Was she going somewhere? Were their kids not in Fancy New Beesly's plans? How would they ever explain this to Philip and Cece? How could a three-year-old and six-year-old ever even begin to wrap their heads around something like this? "So you don't have to worry about picking them up later."

His grip around the phone tightened. How considerate of her. "Sounds good," he lied through his teeth.

"Great," Pam practically chirped. "I'll see you at the house later?"

The house. It used to be home. But now, it was the house. And Jim was left to wonder if it had ever been home to her. "Yeah," he responded despondently. "I'll see you at the house."

Because without Pam, it wouldn't be home anymore. There would be no warmth or a loving smile to come home to. There would be no soft, comforting presence that he cherished so dearly. There would be no tender, beautifully bright green eyes staring so adoringly at him.

It would just be a house.

**Author's Note:**

> Before ANYONE says anything, Pam's motives and feelings will be explored next chapter. Please, PLEASE no one hate on the character. Pam's story has been so personal to me these past months and I know how some of y'all in the fandom get. I don't want a review bashing her (or Jim for that matter).
> 
> I hope you liked it and please review.


End file.
